Learning how to feel my feelings rather than suppress them, process my emotions, speak my truth, and truly and deeply love myself unconditionally takes strength and courage I never knew I had.
After losing almost everything to chronic pain in 2015, I discovered the key to my complete healing would lie in the ability to set healthy boundaries for myself. Saying yes when I really wanted (and needed) to say no, always putting other’s needs before my own, endless people-pleasing, and toxic relationships had been my life pattern for 40 years. This lead to a lifelong struggle with anxiety, depression, disordered eating, low self-esteem, sexual assault, substance use, and eventually debilitating chronic pain.
The diagnosis of this pain syndrome (TMS) finally set me on a path of self-discovery, where I’ve learned to really take care of myself for the first time in my life. I learned that my repressed emotions and my past traumas had been the source of my physical and mental symptoms all along, and I alone had the power to heal myself. And I have.
There would be no miracle cure, no pill, no knight in shining armor, and no easy way out. It would be years of self-discovery, excavation, intensive therapy, endless journaling, education, and the dissolution of toxic relationships that ultimately revealed my truth.
It is my job to walk away from and say no to what no longer serves me, no matter what or who it is.
And that takes all the strength I have.
Learning how to feel my feelings rather than suppress them, process my emotions, speak my truth, and truly and deeply love myself unconditionally takes strength and courage I never knew I had. It has made me a more connected wife, a more present mother, and a whole human being. I can show up for my life and others in a deep and present way that I never knew was possible.
I have never been stronger.
I have never felt more empowered.
I have never been freer.