Anita A.

Today I find strength in community.

I was born strong, but not necessarily in the most positive of ways.  A Leo child with fire signs all around, I had a charged energy from day one.  From my adolescence, through my youth, and into becoming a young adult, there have been countless experiences that contributed to my issues of abandonment, isolation, and betrayal.  The fear of entering into another relationship with the same outcome, whether it be with a friend or lover, has been the catalyst for the giant wall I surrounded myself with.  My post at the entrance of this entrapment was deeply rooted.  With countless wounds not quite healed, there was a level of fear that always lingered as new people came in and out of my life.  From that place, I dove deep into self-preservation.  Outward facing, self-preservation looked like “strength” and “confidence” – Internally, I just wanted to cry.

Throughout the years, I have been graced with countless people who have stood by my side – Assuring me that even in my moments of fear, where I would lash out or shut down, they were not going anywhere.  They held an unwavering space for me to know and trust that I was safe.  Today I find strength in community.  I find strength in vulnerability and transparency.  I find strength in being honest about where I’ve come from and understanding why I respond to the world around me in the ways that I do. I find strength in reminding myself I did the best I could with the tools I had.  Today I can find strength in being soft.